Healing Wounds
by Ninrien
Summary: Edmund&Lucy return from Narnia to find that their mother is dead.The Pevensies make a choice-they decide to return to Narnia or atleast try to .Meanwhile,Caspian must choose whether to return to Ramandu's isle or not.
1. Prologue:The Wood Between The Worlds

**Disclaimer: No..I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia or I would be the happiest person on Earth.**

**This fanfic is a sort of continuation to the Voyage of the Dawn Treader and I have tried to fit it in with the book verse. Do review, I love having feedback about what people think.**

**:The Wood Between The Worlds**

Aslan stood in The Wood Between The Worlds, looking into the pool which led to England and the world of the Pevensies where it seemed they no longer belonged. He watched as Lucy and Edmund Pevensie returned along with Eustace Clarence Scrubb, sighing and shaking his head as he saw a great sorrow unfold in the Pevensies' lives,

He turned away to the pool next to it beside which an 'X' had been cut into the grass by Diggory Kirke, the magician's nephew, more than 1,400 years ago. He had been away from Narnia for too long and now he saw that he had underestimated the power of the Deep Magic Before The Dawn Of Time. Ever since Peter and Susan Pevensie had left Narnia for the last time, Time had flowed simultaneously in Narnia and England, the relation apparent in the way in which the pools of these two worlds had moved closer together till they almost touched and merged.

The Great Lion knew that he would have to prevent the chaos which would occur if the worlds merged, Narnia was set on reclaiming what belonged to it and what was needed now by many in that world. He would ensure that no one but those who were needed there, those who had experienced Narnia and had no life left in England would be able to return there. He would prepare the way for the return of the kings and queens of old to Narnia.

Caspian knew that he must be dreaming but it all seemed so real.

He was standing on the cliff at the edge of the Telmarine Castle which had been abandoned by all but a few when Cair Paravel had been rebuilt. What made the dream so real was the lion who stood before the tree which had been used as a gateway back to the land where his ancestors had come from.

"Aslan." he said kneeling before him.

Aslan breathed over Caspian, and he remembered the days which he had spent with the Kings and Queens of the Golden Age.

"Rise, King Caspian the X."

"Is this a dream?" Caspian asked as he rose but kept his eyes down unable to meet the eyes of the great lion as he thought of his betrayal to the memory of the gentle queen.

"You will not stop at Ramandu's isle."

"But..the star's daughter." Caspian protested as he tried to feel sorrow but instead felt hope, that his love would be returned to him, that he would be made whole once again instead of having to marry for the sake of his kingdom and his subjects as he was doing now as he knew Queen Susan would have wanted him to do.

"Go if you love her, Caspian but know that you will be throwing away what loves gives you if you bring her back with you, if she will even come with you now for I can tell you only your story but not someone else's."

The cliff faded away and his mind was filled with an image of Queen Susan the Gentle for it was she whom he loved for eternity.

**Please do read and review but don't flame.**


	2. Crumbling Walls

**I don't own Narnia, I'm not lucky enough.**

**I know the formatting sucked in the last chapter. I will try and improve it. Thank you so much those of you who took the time to read. Please review, it's great to know that someone's reading.**

1. Crumbling Walls

A soft breeze blew over the deck of the ship and rippled through Susan's hair as she danced. She had met Edward on the ship during the journey back from America and they had got talking. A Grand Dinner was being held followed by a Ball. The ship would dock in England in the early morning the day after tomorrow.

Susan was doing her best to enjoy herself as her mother had told her to but she couldn't help but worry. The doctors had said that their mother didn't have much time left and she was scared. It would be a relief to Mother to see her married, she thought, she had been so happy when I told her that Edward had asked me to marry him. She smiled up at her fiancé as he brushed his lips against her hair. He loved her and she loved him as best as she could.

She knew Edward thought that she was beautiful, she had on a particularly becoming dress and makeup helped to hide the fact that she had been crying and her eyes were puffed up. She didn't notice the First Mate until he tapped her shoulder.

"What is it?" she asked him in her haughtiest voice, angry at being interrupted when she had actually begun to enjoy herself.

"It's your mother, Miss Pevensie." he said and before he could finish his sentence she was running to her mother's room on the lower levels.

Her mother was gone by the time she reached the room and after hearing the doctor say that he had tried his best but there had been nothing that he could do, she didn't listen to anyone else but collapsed onto a chair, sobbing as they talked on about how it had come earlier than expected but you had to accept it and move on. Edward entered the room and made everyone else leave.

She lifted her head from between her hands for long enough to tell him to wire Peter. She shut the door and latched it behind him as he left, she needed to be alone.

She cried till the tears would come no more as the walls which she had built in her mind to contain the pain crumbled away and left her bare. The pain of loosing father, of knowing that Mother was dying, that she was gone now, the pain of loosing Narnia...Narnia where she belonged, she had denied its existence and tried to move on and above all the pain of loosing him.

She tried her best not to think his name but she couldn't succeed..Caspian..she had been a fool and lost respect in her siblings eyes. How could she not think of Narnia now when there was nothing left for them here anymore, her and her brothers and sister. How could she think that Caspian did not exist when she had left her heart with him, when she dreamed of him every night, when she had loved him and he had loved her in that short span of a month. She had made a mistake, he was her first and only love and what she felt for Edward was but a faint echo of what could have been.

Dry sobs racked her body as she lost herself in the grief and pain left by the aftermath of all her mistakes, of having lost Narnia, that beautiful land and Caspian, for she could not let go of them after trying for so long, she cried through the night, haunted by the bittersweet memories.

* * *

The three lords returned in a boat to the Dawn Treader from which Caspian had not disembarked. He welcomed them and took the letter which they handed him and walked to the railing of the ship and gazed at Ramandu's isle as they sailed away from it with the sunset.

In the last rays of the sun, he opened her letter.

_King Caspian X,_

_I write this to you to assure you that you have made the right choice. I do not regret that you are not taking me with you as you promised you would._

_Until four years ago, I had seen a vision which grew stronger every year of you coming for me and our child ruling Narnia but four years ago, something changed and our future together became uncertain._

_I see you with another woman now, she who I have reason to believe is going to be your Queen, Queen Susan the Gentle. The love you bear for her is strong, do not despair that it is of no use for I have seen that you will be together._

_I wish you all happiness with her and ask only that you reveal my existence to no one._

_I do not reproach you for your love for me is but a faint shadow of your love for her._

_Farewell._

He read her letter and felt hope for the first time since Susan had left him. As he finished reading he turned away from the island and looked forward to where Cair Paravel was, and hoped again that he may meet the woman who had taken his heart with her.

**I hope you guys liked it. It may not be a one-of-a-kind plot but I'm trying to stick to The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader book verse even though it is Prince Caspian movie !!!**


	3. A Windy Graveyard

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia, the books or the movies, never will.**

**I know it's been a really long time since my last update but please don't hate me, I'm back at college and I'm swamped with work, only allowed to access the computer twice a week, I promise I'll update as often as I can, those of you who have been reading so far thanx a ton, do try and take the time to review.**

**Thank you PattyPrincess for putting this stuff up for me,.(not my beta reader, don't have one..she's just being kind enough to put up the files which I send her.)**

2. A Windy Graveyard

The coffin had been brought from the ship that morning and Susan came along with it, eyes red and puffy from weeping .The three other Pevensie siblings had been waiting for her, the only difference was that they had expected Edward to be with her but she told them that she had decided that it would not work out.

Peter had arranged for a funeral as soon as he had heard from Susan, he had felt that it would be best to get it over quickly even though the grief would stay for a long time. Lucy and Edmund had been brought directly to their home in London as soon as they had been found but Eustace had been sent back to his home.

After the funeral service was concluded they stood around the grave in silence, four children clad in black.

Lucy began to sob and she turned away and hugged Peter.

"Oh..oh..it's all so sudden, to think that Mother was dying while we were away in Narnia and you all thought that we were missing..and and Aslan said that we couldn't go back there anymore." she sobbed.

"It's okay Lu, we knew this was going to happen. It wasn't a surprise, we were prepared."Peter consoled.

Susan started crying quietly yet again, she had never known that there were so many tears in her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for everything. I believe in Narnia, its what means the most to me. I'm so sorry I was so mean to you, all of you." she said through her tears.

"Oh, Su, I knew you'd come around, I knew it."Lucy said as she pulled away from Peter and went to Susan to hug her

The tears flowing down Susan's cheek became a flood. Lucy was the only one who had come close to understanding but Susan had snapped at her most often because it was she who talked the most about Narnia.

"You snapped at Lu so much, you said you didn't believe in Narnia. It's just because of all this that you've come around, because you can't take it alone."Peter said, turning away from her.

Everyone was silent for some time and then Edmund spoke up going over to put an arm around Susan and stand next to her.

"Come on Pete, Lu has forgiven her and so have I. Why can't you too?"he asked.

Peter came around pretty soon, apologizing for having let his temper get the better of him and they left the graveyard together after looking longingly for one last time at their mother's grave, wishing that she hadn't died but knowing it was inevitable and that that was what had caused Susan to come around.

They turned their backs on the grave and walked out, the wind buffeting their faces as they walked. It was a grey day which seemed to have been made for rain and tears.

They hailed a cab and went back to their house where Susan started making hot chocolate for everyone and then they sat down. The rain had begun to fall and the living room became dark, the room was filled with the sound of raindrops hitting the windows and falling from the eaves.

"What are we going to do now?"Edmund asked finally, unable to bear the silence any more.

"Isn't it obvious? We have to go back."Lucy said.

"Lucy, he told us that we weren't coming back."Peter said.

"He told Ed and me the same thing too but I don't believe he would make us stay here when we don't have anything left to learn here, when we don't have anything to live for here."Lucy said and to everyone's surprise, Susan was the first one to agree with her.

"We can go to Professor Kirke's place where we first went to Narnia, we could talk to him." she said.

"And what about the house here?"Peter asked and everyone felt silent, you could always count on Peter to think of the spoilers.

"We could sell it and tell everyone we're going away because then even if we don't come back- which we won't if we go to Narnia-they won't wonder at it. We will have literally disappeared off the face of the Earth."Edmund said after a considerable deal of thinking during which he looked as though he were chewing rocks.

"I think we need to take it a little slower, why don't we take the night to think about it." Peter said.

"It's only you who needs the time we've all decided." Edmund retaliated.

"Alright, it's only me who needs the time. Have you ever thought that maybe I actually have something left here. What do you expect me to say to Deborah? We were making plans to be married. You want me to leave her and come. You don't understand. None of you do."Peter screamed as he stormed up the stairs to his room.

"Who's Deborah?"Susan asked, as soon as Peter was out of earshot.

"I don't know."Edmund said as they all burst out laughing for the first time that day.

**I know..this chapter was really weird but I had to put it in to show the Pevensies react to Susan coming around and all...review please and you'll totally make my day.**


	4. Leave takings

**Disclaimer: You guys know...I'm not bothering to write it all again. I'm so sorry for the extra late update. Don't kill me.**

**In reply to reviews:**

**YemiHikari:I guess I will have to change the canon of the later books, I guess I couldn't write a Suspian without doing that but like I said before its Prince Caspian movieverse and Voyage Of The Dawn Treader bookverse and I will be relying on the other books for some info...thanx a ton for reviewing...I'm trying to make sure that everything is properly researched**

**ButterflyBroken: Thank you, I'll check my spellings and stuff.**

**KuroiBara-676:I'm so sorry you started crying because of this,** **hope you enjoy.**

**Do keep reading and try and leave a review, it makes me really happy, unless you've flamed me in which case beware.**

3. Leave-takings

Peter woke up early and left the house without leaving a note or telling the others where he was going, and none of them were even awake yet. He walked through the empty streets towards Deborah's house, bracing himself to tell her that he was leaving and that she could come with him if she liked but he knew what her answer was going to be, she belonged here just as much as he and his siblings belonged in Narnia.

He had called her the night before to tell her that he would be coming and sure enough when he rang the doorbell, she opened it straight away but he was sure that she had not expected bad news because she was smiling at him, the special smile which was always just for him.

He couldn't tell her about Narnia for fear of what she would think but he told her as much as he could and waited for her reply. She had turned away from him and was sitting near the window, gazing out at the bleary London sky.

When she turned around there were tears in her eyes and she opened her mouth to give him the answer which he had dreaded yet expected.

"Pete, I'm sorry, I can't come away from all this, I can't leave my parents. You have to understand." she said as she got up and walked towards him. He rose from where he sat on the couch.

She walked him to the door and as he was about to go through she kissed him and whispered "Do you have to go? We were going to have a life together you know?" even though she knew his answer just as he had known hers. He turned away from her and walked along the road not looking back even though the tears ran down his face.

She watched him go. After he had disappeared from sight she shut the door and went up to her room to cry over her lost life.

Susan's day was spent getting all their affairs in order and beginning the arrangements for them to go to Professor Kirke's house. They would never come back. Amazingly enough she was the strong one now, consoling her siblings and taking care of tried her best not to think about Narnia and Caspian about which she was dying to talk to Lucy but they would have their time to grieve and she would not interrupt.

Peter had said goodbye to Deborah, for some time she had actually considered that he might choose to stay but Lucy had been right Peter could not leave had only each other now, the four of them and he would not want to go through life without them. She suspected that he also knew that Narnia was the place where he was meant to be, where he was at his best, he was a High King there and Peter being Peter would be happy to be back in a land where he had been a king.

She was sorting through her clothes when the door bell rang and she got up to go and answer it and when she opened the door she found Edward there, dressed in a somber black suit.

She ushered him into the living room and brought them coffee from the kitchen.

"Susan, you know why I'm here." he said but she didn't answer. She had resigned herself to another goodbye the minute her mother had died, she could not stay with Edward when she had lost her heart to Caspian and there was no finding another for her.

"I don't care if you want to wait till the proper mourning period is over. I can wait Susan." he said.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she said after a long pause. "We're going away." She told him.

"Then I'll wait for you till you come back." he said and she knew that he loved her.

"That's just it, we're not coming back." she told him and remembered the day when she had said nearly the same words to Caspian but the wrench she felt in her heart that day was much, much more than what she felt now. her love for Edward was an echo of that love which she had shared with Caspian in another world.

"What do you mean? We were going to be married, I asked your mother, everything was arranged." he protested.

"I'm sorry." she repeated.

"Why?" he asked, "is it someone else?" he asked her.

"In another age, I left him behind." she whispered so soft that he could hardly hear her. "I couldn't stay with him, I had to come away but now, I can't stay here either. I have to go. I'm sorry." she said again and they sat in silence as he stared at her unable to believe that he was losing everything which he had planned for, unable to believe that he was losing her. After what seemed to be a long time he got up to leave and she went with him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, in remembrance of all their happy times together and shut the door behind him, not letting herself cry for the man who she had thought had healed her.

**I know it was strange to have Peter and Deborah but I had to explain his story. Sorry for all the sappy stuff about Susan not being able to live without Caspian but it is a romance fic and I was trying to establish the stuff, don't hate me guys and review please. **


	5. Making Plans

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia, the books or the series...don't sue me.**

**I know it's been really long since the last update but do try and find it somewhere in you to forgive me. All of you who've been reviewing, thanx a ton, you guys are the best.**

**Also,to PattyPrincess: Thanx sooooooooo much.I.O.U. Big time.**

4. Making plans

"You want to go back. How?" Professor Kirke asked. Susan was on the phone with him, telling him about their decision.

"The rings, Professor. We've already begun winding up all our affairs here. We assumed that your invitation to have us stay at your house still stands." Susan said. Lucy was crossing her fingers.

"Aslan has said that you cannot go back. Do you think the rings will help you when the great lion himself said you would not go back to Narnia. The rings were a flawed invention, they should not be used." Professor Kirke said. They had expected this response from him initially and Susan covered the receiver with her hand and whispered to Lucy to talk to him and convince him that Aslan would not stop them.

"Professor, Aslan would not be so cruel. He said we could not go back because there was nothing left for us to learn in Narnia, because we belonged in this world. Don't you think he'd understand now that we can learn nothing here now, we have nothing left here to live for? Please, won't you agree?" Lucy begged and they all knew that now there was a chance that he might tell them where the rings were and help them continue their plan. If any human knew Aslan well it was Lucy and not even the Lord Diggory and the Lady Polly knew him that well.

"Lucy child, whether I agree with that or not there is still the matter of the rings. They are flawed like I said before. My uncle never finished developing them properly; they still may not work properly. It is a risk, one which you should not be willing to take." He said his voice grave and solemn as he thought over the matter which they had laid before him. "When you are in The Wood Between The Worlds how will you find your way to the pool which leads to Narnia?" He asked even though he knew the answer as soon as he asked the question.

"You marked it, didn't you? It's written in the old stories, I remember still."

"Yes, I marked it but it was just a mark cut into the soil, it would not have lasted, grass grows and The Wood is magical. I will have to think about it. Don't you see, Aslan does not make mistakes, he would not have sent you back if you were meant to stay."

"Professor, he must not have known. I'll call again, I hope you can understand. You wanted to come back for your mother, Susan has to go back for Caspian. We have to go back for Narnia, it's where we belong." Lucy said and she hung up before Professor Kirke had time to reply.

"So, what do you guys think, will he tell us where the rings are?" Edmund asked after the girls filled him in on the conversation.

"I think he might not, what will we do if he doesn't?" Lucy said sounding more than slightly scared.

"Portals." Susan gasped.

"What are you talking Su?" Peter asked, lifting his head up from between his hands, he was taking the fact that they were all leaving a little too hard.

"There are portals between the worlds. Don't you remember? That's how the Telmarines got to Narnia, they accidentally stumbled through a portal." she said looking around at the others, only Lucy looked like there was any hope.

"Su, the portals don't remain open all the time, they open and close from time to time and we don't know where the portals are, we don't know if there are any open now." Edmund said.

"Maybe...just maybe...we can find them." Lucy said.

"Oh, Lu leave it be. Lord Diggory will tell us, or we can find them ourselves. The rings are safer than looking for portals I'm sure." Peter said as he got up and headed off to his room upstairs.

"Why does he have to be that way?" Lucy grumbled to Susan as Edmund went outside into the garden, glaring up the stairs in the general direction of where Peter had gone.

"It's okay Lu, let's not worry yet. Now tell me everything which happened after Eustace became human again." Susan said, there had not been enough time for Lucy to finish telling her about what they had done in Narnia this time, they had been too lost in the grief over their mothers death.

Lucy began the story and Susan remained silent until she began to tell about Ramandu's Isle and the Star's daughter.

"Ramandu's daughter, I should have known that he would move on. Why did I think that he would be missing me too? I'm silly Lu." She said and her eyes swam with tears though she did not let them flow.

"Su, It's okay..."Lucy began to console her but Susan rambled on.

"He is the king of Narnia now, I suppose it is only expected that he will find someone else. I will not come to the castle then, I do not want to upset matters. Continue, Lu. I want to know the whole story." Susan said, blinking and curling her hands into fists.

"Su, that night, he was looking at a picture of you, in one of the books about the Golden Age. He loved you, Su, I think he still loves you."

Susan nodded and then motioned for Lucy to continue but she kept her hands tightly curled and Lucy could see that she was sad.

**I know you guys hate me for not updating for so long but please do review.**


	6. Home of the Wardrobe

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia and I never will. *wiping away tears***

**I seem to be making this a habit, I'm sorry I always update extra late guys, try and find it in your heart to forgive me. Thanx **

**6. Home of the Wardrobe**

"Hello Professor." Lucy cried as soon as she saw Diggory Kirke walk on to the station platform. She ran up to him and threw her arms around him.

"Lucy." The Lord Diggory answered stroking her hair and then letting go of her to turn to the others, who were struggling with the luggage.

"Come on then, I'll help you with that." He said walking up to them and taking a suitcase from Susan.

"Ed, do you have all your stuff? Are you sure you haven't left anything behind in the train?" Susan asked as she picked up some bags and followed the professor and Lucy out of the station.

"Yes Su, that's the 100th time you're checking." Edmund said, slightly reproachfully.

"Alright." Susan called over her shoulder.

A week had passed since their conversation with Lord Diggory on the phone, he had called them the next day and told them to come to his house so that they could discuss things and decide what to do. He had had to remind them that his house contained the most amount of information about Narnia on Earth. He had also invited the Lady Polly to come over.

Soon they had reached his mansion and Polly Plummer was waiting there for them.

"So, you're here. Don't worry about Diggory, he's just being an adult. We'll help you go back and we were hoping that we could make some arrangements for ourselves as well." Polly said. "I've got your rooms ready for you, one for you girls and the other for you two boys."

They carried their bags upstairs and Susan and Lucy found that they had been given the room next door to the one with the wardrobe and the boys were in the room on the other side.

They were laying their things out when Susan sighed and dropped down on her bed, looking at Lucy solemnly.

"Do you think it's going to work Lu, any of it?" She asked, looking at Lucy as if the assurance which she wanted from her would give her the strength to go on.

Lucy stopped in the middle of putting her hairbrush away and went to sit down next to Susan, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Su, it will work, because it has to and Aslan knows that." Lucy said.

Over the past few days, there had been hasty conversations about the rings, the wood between the worlds, portals, need and all sorts of other ways to get to Narnia. They were trying pretty hard and thinking of all the possibilities.

They both got up and finished putting their things away, Susan trying hard to disguise the sadness in her eyes.

"You know Su, maybe he didn't go back to Ramandu's isle, and maybe he knew that the two of you might be given a chance. We can't be sure of anything except that Aslan always does what is best for everybody and he does not allow people to be left to a lifetime of sadness. Aslan is always with those who have faith in him." Lucy said to Susan as they went down to supper and as Susan looked into Lucy eyes she thought that she saw a silhouette of the great lion. At that moment Lucy saw that the pain and despair in Susan's eyes were accompanied by hope and faith.

After supper was over, they sat around the fireplace, talking.

"I have the rings here with me." Diggory said.

"Can't we try the wardrobe, I mean I know we'd end up a long distance from where we want to go but that doesn't matter as long as we get to Narnia right?" Edmund asked.

"It may not work again Ed, in fact it probably won't" Peter retorted and Susan shot him a look which was clearly meant to tell him that there was to be no fighting.

"You know what, we should just read all the Narnian books which Diggory has and then we should discuss all the possibilities." Polly said.

"What about the portals?" Susan asked.

"Susan, there are many portals in this world and we cannot be sure about which of them lead to Narnia, that is if we can even find one. The wardrobe was a type of portal and it didn't always work, portals are not all that reliable. We have to keep that in mind." Diggory said.

"We could just talk about this tomorrow, we're not ready to make a decision yet and besides Professor, you said that you would read through the notes which your uncle left behind about the making of the rings and the way they work. Perhaps those will tell us something more." Lucy said.

" We just need to believe in Aslan, he will provide us with a way."

They all looked at her, knowing that she had never yet lost faith in Aslan and never would, wishing that they had been and could be like her.

**Please, please do review. I adore them and you'll make my day. Thank you so much.**


	7. Hope Endures

**Disclaimer: If I ever own Narnia, I'll make sure the whole world knows but now's not the time.**

7. Hope Endures

Waking up in the mornings used to be the hardest thing which Susan had to do but after Edmund and Lucy returned from Narnia, sleep and the dreams which accompanied it were just as bad. Susan did not know how the star's daughter looked or how she spoke or what she was like, in fact she knew nothing about her but the star's daughter haunted Susan's dreams, always there behind Caspian who was earlier present all alone.

Susan believed her dreams and thought about them all the time, going through every single detail until one day as they were reading books in the library she let go of the book which she was holding and let it drop to the floor, unable to handle her reality without a moment's respite not caring that it was ancient and might be damaged and even that it would make a fairly loud noise.

The others all looked up and saw that Susan's face was pale and drawn and her lips were trembling. As the others looked on, she drew a deep breath, bent and picked up the book which she had dropped and began to read on as if nothing had happened. One by one the others looked away and continued their reading. A few minutes later Susan got up and left the room, they could hear her rushing up the stairs to her room.

"We need to do something quick; I don't think Susan can hold on for much longer." Peter said looking at the door through which she had just gone.

"What can we do Pete? We're trying everything we know."Edmund said, looking up from the book which he was reading in an attempt to find something useful.

"Peter's right Ed. We don't have much time left. We need to find a way, something which will work for sure." Lucy said, rubbing her eyes which were tired from all the reading.

"We'll give it a few more days and then we'll use the rings, alright?" Peter said, forestalling Edmund and then looking around at the other two to see whether they agreed. The professor was already shaking his head disapprovingly.

"We can't Peter, it's too risky, we could all be trapped in the Wood or we could end up stuck in some strange world. The rings are not fully understood by any of us, we cannot throw away our lives." He said.

"It's the only option, would you rather let Susan die as we continue searching? Can't you see her slipping away? None of us fully understand any of this and maybe we really need to stop worrying about whether we do or not." Peter retorted, he had gotten up and he was pacing about the room.

"Okay alright then but we have to give it a few more days." The professor said, still looking doubtful.

"It's time for dinner." Lucy said, looking really relieved that it was because the atmosphere was getting too awkward.

They all went down to dinner and to bed after that. Susan came down to dinner but she ate little and she ate quickly and left. That night Edmund dreamt a strange dream.

He saw a book filled room with large French windows along one wall. He walked towards the windows and pushed them open and when he looked down he saw a deep ravine and on the other side was Cair Paravel. There was no way across other than to jump from the window. He hung back, hesitating and then he saw the great lion standing in the courtyard, wind rippling through his mane.

Edmund woke up then, sitting up in bed with a start. The dream came back to him and he realized that the room in his dream was the library. He got out of bed and picked up a torch and went down the stairs to the library. When he pushed open the windows he let out a short yell. He could see Cair Paravel.

**Random, or not so random? Anwyay, sorry for the late update, I swear I'll be updating regularly now. Please do review…you know how I love them.**

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	8. Falling into bliss

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia- never have and never will.**

**Do review because each review makes me feel like writing this fic is worth all the time it takes.**

**8. Falling into bliss**

Edmund turned around and dashed out the library. As he turned the corner near the staircase he banged into Susan.

"Ed, what are you doing?" she asked, "Were you the person who yelled just now?"

Almost as soon as she completed her sentence, Peter came rushing down the stairs.

"Thank God you're here Ed. I woke up because I heard a scream and then I saw that you weren't in the room. What are you playing at? I was really worried." He said, gasping and trying to regain his breath.

"Susan, go upstairs and get Lucy. Peter, you go downstairs and fetch Professor Kirke and the Lady Polly. I'll wait for you guys in the library." He said.

"What on earth are you talking Ed?" Peter asked, looking confused and slightly exasperated.

"Just trust me for once you two. I mean I know I'm not the most reliable person or anything but just listen to me okay? Hurry up." He said before turning around and walking off. Susan and Peter stood gaping at each other in a bewildered manner until Susan snapped out of it.

"Let's go Pete." She said and she turned around and ran back up the staircase yelling "Lucy! Lu, wake up."

Peter shook his head sleepily and thudded down the stairs to the Professor's room. The door was closed. He knocked and leaned against the doorframe impatiently. After waiting for a few minutes, he banged on the door again.

"Peter, what is it? What has happened?" he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Professor, wake the Lady Polly up and come to the library. I think Edmund's found something really important." He said and he waited for the Professor to nod before turning away and heading back the way he had come.

"Hurry." He called over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, Susan was shaking Lucy in an attempt to wake her up. Susan was the only one who even thought of the possibility that Edmund had found a way back into Narnia. Peter was thinking that Edmund must have read something in one of the books and just gotten excited for something small.

"Lucy, please wake up. It's really important that you wake up, now!" Susan hissed into Lucy's ears before proceeding to pull Lucy's blankets off her.

Suddenly Lucy bolted out of bed and began to rush out of the room. Susan caught hold of her arm to stop her.

"Where are you going?" she asked her eyes wide with anxiety.

"To the library of course. Edmund found a portal. Aren't you coming?" Lucy asked Susan calmly as if it were the most obvious thing to do at that moment.

"How did you know?" Susan asked her, looking shocked but following her out of the room and down the stairs regardless.

"I had a dream. I saw Aslan." She said and soon enough they were hurrying into the library where Edmund was waiting for them anxiously, pacing up and down in front of the open French windows.

"Ed, why have you opened the windows?" Susan asked, shivering and rubbing her arms because if the cold breeze which was blowing in through the windows.

"Okay, that was quicker than I expected." Edmund said and he pushed both the girls towards the window.

"Oh." Susan said, too shocked to say anything else.

"I knew Aslan wanted us to come back. He couldn't have kept us away." Lucy exclaimed.

As Peter entered the room followed by Diggory and Polly, Susan recovered enough to speak.

"But..how do we get across?" she said softly and the others gathered around the window as well.

"Uh, brace yourselves you guys. We have to jump. There's no other way." Edmund said, looking around at the others to try and gauge their expressions.

"Are you kidding? Look at the distance Edmund, there has to be a bridge or something." Peter said indignantly.

"Yes, this is too risky." The Professor added.

"Guys, let me explain something to you'll. I dreamt that there was a book-filled room with windows which opened out onto Cair Paravel." Edmund went on to recount his dream.

"Aslan was there?" Peter asked doubtfully.

"Yes he was and I have a feeling that this is the only chance we are going to get to go back to Narnia. This is the only way. None of the other options which we've discussed are going to work, not even the rings." Edmund said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"Ed's right. This is the only way. I dreamt of this too. That's why I took so long to wake up, Su." Lucy explained, looking towards Susan pleadingly, begging the others to believe in her and Edmund.

"Thanx Lu." Edmund said, smiling at her and reaching out to hold her hand. The two of them turned around to face the others, all of whom were looking quizzically at them. The four of them were looking at each other confusedly and then a dazzling smile lit up Susan's face.

Suddenly Susan dashed past Lucy and Edmund and climbed onto the windowsill and before they could stop her, she jumped.

The others all stared in shock, unable to react. As Susan fell headlong she felt a breeze take control of her fall and soon she was being swept along towards Cair Paravel. She looked as though she was flying. Suddenly, Edmund broke out of the trance which they had all fallen into and he moved towards the windows.

He stared at Susan falling gently, gracefully and he whispered "Good for you Su." before following suit.

Lucy was staring out of the window as a breeze appeared to catch hold of Edmund as well. She gripped the windowsill tightly for an instant before letting herself

Her words drifted back to them on the wind as they stood looking down. "Hurry up, please."

"This is madness, it can't be possible." Peter said and he fell silent for a few seconds before speaking up again. "But what we asked for is impossible too so this must be the only option." He said his voice trailing off as he reached the end of his sentence.

As he jumped, his final thoughts were of Deborah and he did not notice that he had let the burning candle which he had been holding slip from his hands.

**Review please, pretty please with a cherry on top. The amount of effort it takes for you to review and the happiness which I fell when I read each review are inversely proportionate.(Get it…..?)**


	9. Cair Paravel

**Disclaimer: I really think I've said it enough times right? I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia.**

**All you guys who reviewed last time, thanx a ton. It was really good to have feedback. Those of you, who haven't reviewed the last chapter- please, please do review this one at least. It's really easy and it doesn't take much time or effort.**

**9. Cair Paravel**

Peter could feel the gentle breezes carrying him along towards Cair Paravel. If he had looked back then he would have seen the blazing inferno which had engulfed the Professor's house but by the time he did turn around their world had winked out. The portal had closed.

A tear ran down his cheek as he turned back to look at the sweeping landscape of Narnia. He felt as though he was flying.

Then, suddenly his feet touched the cobblestone paved ground and he stood and looked around at the courtyard of Cair Paravel and the golden lion whose presence lit up the entire surroundings.

"Aslan." He said in a voice which was no more than a whisper because of the awe and gratefulness which he was feeling.

"Rise, High King Peter of Narnia." The great lion said, breathing slowly on Peter's bowed head.

He stood up and looked around and saw that Edmund, Susan and Lucy were standing beside Aslan.

"You sure did take your time. We were wondering when you were going to turn up." Edmund said, smiling mischievously because he knew Peter would not respond to his jibing. They were all simply too happy to be back.

Peter smiled back at Edmund and in the next instant the two girls had thrown their arms around him, laughing and smiling. Peter looked at Susan thoughtfully after they had let go off him- she had not laughed so truly since they had left Narnia the last time.

When she noticed him looking at her he looked away.

"Aslan- Professor Kirke, Lady Polly. Why aren't they here yet?" Lucy asked suddenly and all of them realized that they had forgotten about the others.

They all turned around to look in the direction from which they had come; they did not realize that people (both humans and talking animals) had just begun to enter the courtyard. No one had realized that they had come till just then.

"The portal's closed. What's going on?" Edmund asked, turning around and looking at Aslan.

"The house was burnt down. Diggory and Polly are in another Narnia. They were not meant to come back." Aslan said.

Lucy began to cry and Aslan padded over to her.

"Do not cry, dear one. They believed in Narnia, they are alive in another Narnia and you will see them again even if it is not in the way you expected it to be." He said, breathing calmingly onto her face.

Lucy threw her arms around Aslan and sobbed into his mane for a few minutes before calming down and drawing away.

Peter rubbed at his eyes to conceal the fact that he had shed a few tears too.

Susan was looking at Aslan and her eyes held the question which they all needed to ask.

"Yes, you are here stay. You have a lifetime to live in Narnia and this time it will end here, there is no going back to your world." He said and he smiled.

They all burst out laughing and ran to hug Aslan, letting their happiness overflow. When they finally let go of the great lion and turned around the courtyard was filled.

"Trumpkin." Lucy cried out with joy when she saw the dwarf and she ran towards him and hugged him.

"How?...What?" He stuttered as she released him.

"Hey DLF. You had better find us some rooms. We're here to stay." Edmund said, grinning at Trumpkin as he clapped him on the shoulder.

"Or do you want us to prove that we are who we say we are?" Peter asked, smiling from ear to ear.

Then they noticed a disturbance near the main door and everyone cleared a path to where the Pevensies were standing. They turned around to see who it was that had caused the disruption and they saw King Caspian approaching.

Peter glanced at Susan and he saw that she had become pale and her fists were clenched tight.

"It's alright Su." He whispered, taking hold of her hand, uncurling it and squeezing it reassuringly.

Caspian approached them and as he drew closer the colour went out of his cheeks and he looked as though he was seeing a ghost.

He took in the entire scene and then he focused on Susan. She was looking sad, angry, hopeful and happy all at the same time.

"Susan." He said as he approached her and he reached out his hand to touch her cheek. When his fingers were inches away from her face, she jerked her head, turning away from him.

Caspian seemed to come back to his senses then and turning to Aslan, he knelt before him.

"Rise, King Caspian." Aslan said and as Caspian got up he looked into his eyes for a long minute.

"The Kings and Queens of the Golden Age are here to stay. Narnia will need their experience in the days to come." Aslan pronounced so everyone could hear.

At this a smile spread across Caspian's face and he turned to look at the Kings and Queens of old.

Lucy ran to Caspian and hugged him and after she let go Edmund took his turn. Peter clapped Caspian on the back. Susan was the only one who did not show any reaction except to incline her head towards him in courtesy. Caspian looked at her in a bewildered manner for a few minutes before turning to Peter.

"So Peter, you didn't trust me to rule on my own huh?" Caspian asked, punching Peter's shoulder and smiling.

"Yeah, I really couldn't help wondering if you had burnt the whole place down yet." Peter said, returning the smile.

"Shall we go inside?" Caspian asked after a few more minutes had passed. "I'm sure Trumpkin will have found you four some rooms by now."

Caspian threw one arm around Edmund's shoulder and the other around Lucy's and he led them into the castle with Peter and Susan walking beside Edmund.

Slowly the crowd in the courtyard dissipated and Aslan was left standing alone.

He turned away and padded off out of the castle into the forests surrounding it. He had fulfilled his duty by ensuring that Narnia and England's world had not merged. He would come back to the castle soon enough but he was not needed there right then.

**And so..there's another chapter…REVIEW..please.**


	10. Explanations

**Disclaimer: Why don't we just assume that I've said it already? (..And of course I have)**

**As always thanx to the people who reviewed-you guys are truly amazing. You'll probably hate me by now for leaving my updates so late but I've got a lot going on right now and yeah I know that's no excuse….so I'll try my best.**

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Trumpkin had arranged rooms for the four of them by the time they entered the castle. Lucy was overjoyed when she found that they had been given their old rooms- the ones in which they had stayed when they were ruling Narnia in the Golden Age.

They each had a separate room but all of them were accessible through the same atrium which had a glass dome and doors that led out into a garden.

"It's very late; we will talk in the morning." Caspian said, "Trust the four of you to deprive me of my sleep." He finished as he walked away towards his own rooms which were located in the same passageway as theirs.

Caspian was happy to see them back, he felt like he was in a dream- in fact he was jubilant but Susan's reception towards him had startled him and left him feeling puzzled and sad. He did not understand why she had been so..cold towards him. They had parted on intimate if tearful terms and he had expected that she would be glad to see him but her reaction had been anything but glad. Perhaps she had forgotten their time together, perhaps she did not care anymore but if that was case she would still have smiled and greeted him as a friend.

He reached his rooms and lay awake on his bed, thinking about Susan and their time together, the way they had fallen in love. He simply could not fall asleep because of the memories that ran through his mind every time he shut his eyes and eventually even when they were open.

_She was walking in the woods outside the How when he found her. He was sure that she could hear him walking up behind her but she didn't turn._

"_What are you doing out here in the middle of the night Susan? What if someone needed you and no one knew where you were?" he asked when he was right behind her. She turned then and she looked up at him, face tilted upwards. He nearly gasped; she was so beautiful with rays of moonlight falling through the leaves on her face._

"_Only you would think of me at this time of night, Prince Caspian and you would find me whether you knew where I was or not." She smiled faintly and at that moment something changed between them._

(A/N: the previous part..in italics..that's a flashback, it's the time when they first admit their feelings to each other.)

They were in love and the fact that they were about to go to war had only made them spend more time together than they would have in a normal situation.

Finally Caspian gave up on trying to sleep and decided that he would go and talk to Susan.

Meanwhile Susan had only waited long enough for the others to go to their rooms before she made her way out into the gardens. She wanted to get out of the castle. She had thought that she would no longer feel so much pain once she was in Narnia but the moment she had seen Caspian the hurt she had been feeling had increased exponentially. She was going through hell, having seen him and knowing that he was just a few doors away but he was with someone else; for all she knew he could already be married to the star's daughter.

As she hurried through the gardens towards a side gate in the walls she began crying. She had not realized that she had so many tears left in her, so much grief. She had thought that she was done mourning for her dead love with Caspian. The tears made it hard for her to see what was ahead and her movements slowed.

Suddenly she heard a voice in the bushes next to her and she turned, confused.

"My Lady, should you not be getting some sleep?" Dr. Cornelius asked.

"Doctor, I..I need to go." She said and she turned away again.

"Susan, it is not safe outside the castle at this time of the night, especially not in the state you're in. Come sit and I'll try to explain." He said and he gestured at the empty space next to him.

Susan hesitated and finally Dr. Cornelius seemed to understand. He was the only person who had known that Caspian and Susan had been together even before she kissed him on the cliff in the Telmar castle.

"He didn't bring her back Susan." He said with a gentle smile and with those words he released Susan from her grief.

She sighed and she sat down next to him.

"What do you mean? Lucy told me about her when they came back. I thought I was ready to see him with her. I thought just seeing him would be enough for me but it hurts more." She said, her words spilling out in a rush. She needed to know everything.

"He loved you so much that he couldn't be with anyone else. He was willing to let Narnia go to someone else. He told me he dreamt of Aslan and that Aslan gave him hope that he would see you again." The doctor explained and Susan's face lit up.

"After that, she sent him a letter in which she told him that she saw you in his future, that he would be with you. He's been waiting since then." Dr. Cornelius finished and suddenly Susan looked guilty.

"I didn't even smile at him let alone speak to him or let him touch me. I felt that he still loved me but my mind just couldn't believe it. He must be hurting now, I have to go to him." Susan said, getting up and then she paused just as the doctor caught her arm.

"Thank you….for stopping me, and for explaining." She said and her eyes were filled with gratitude.

"He's like a son to me, I don't like seeing him hurt." The doctor said, shrugging. "Susan, I think I should go inside first, explain things to him. I'll tell him where you are. And please, don't do anything unreasonable, stay here. He'll be worried if he has to look for you. He really loves you Susan-thank you for loving him too and being willing to listen." He finished before walking away.

**Okay..so tell me..too sentimental? Too weird? As always, criticism is welcome but don't be rude about it. And yeah please please review because that way I know that all my effort isn't going to waste..and also you'll make my day.**


	11. Letting go

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia.**

**Yeah I know it's literally been years since I've updated but I was fresh out of ideas so thanks to mae-E for helping me out with that- I may not have used them all but it was good to discuss this story with someone. I figured that all of you people who've been reviewing, following and favouriting definitely deserved better than me leaving you all hanging-so, this chapter is the last one but it is closure.**

**Also, please leave me a review and since I've been such an absolute douche- I'll understand if you don't or if it's a flame.**

**Chapter 11: Letting go**

Susan was still reeling with shock from everything which Dr. Cornelius had told her. She knew in her heart that she had been expecting this all along-she had never truly believed that Caspian had stopped loving her.

As she stood waiting in the garden-she was almost overwhelmed with the realization of how much she loved him. In her mind she thanked Aslan for not letting her love go to waste. She also felt guilt-guilt for doubting him so, for greeting him so coldly.

She did not know how much time passed as she waited for she was so absorbed in her thoughts. After what seemed like ages she heard footsteps approaching her.

Suddenly her entire being was concentrated on Caspian and as he drew nearer, her breath quickened and she felt an untold panic rising within her-akin to what she had felt when she left him at the Telmarine castle, what she had felt when she had seen him again just a few hours back.

He walked up to her and when she still did not turn, he took hold of her hands and turned her about to face him. There was a smile on his face as he looked down into her eyes but when he spoke she could hear the anguish in his voice.

"I was looking for you and I didn't know where to find you," he said, sounding lost and wistful and she could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," she said by way of reply- her voice a whisper because she found herself unable to speak any louder- and they both knew that she was apologizing for everything that she had done, and everything she had not done. She let her head drop, looking away as her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry too, Susan…forgive me." He let go of her hands and placing his hands on her cheeks, he slowly made her look into his eyes again. She opened her mouth slightly as if she were about to say something but then she decided not to say anything, and she kept her silence with a slight shake of her head.

"I was so lost with you gone," he murmured before trailing off once again, looking at her intently, as if to memorize every single detail of her face and she reciprocates the smile which forms on his face.

"I was too," she says, and suddenly her expression falls again, "Oh, Caspian, you could never love the person I was, the person I'd become," she whispers as she turns away from him, pacing and wringing her hands nervously.

"Susan, if you truly believe that then you do not yet understand the depth of my love for you. I've seen who you are truly- you may have changed for a while, my love, but you will always be the same caring, beautiful person who will do anything to protect those she loves." He lowers his voice almost to a whisper, as if to match hers and he stops her pacing by taking hold of her hands in both of his and drawing her closer to him.

"You don't understand- I said that I didn't believe in Narnia, I told Lucy that they were just playing games. I was so vicious to them all," she protests, her gaze earnest on his face as she tries to explain what she had done, it is almost as if this is a penance.

"Hush, Susan, none of that matters now. What matters is that you are here, in Narnia- and you cannot have returned if you did not truly believe."

She sighs in defeat and then suddenly looks up at him with a bright smile on her face.

"You're right- I'm going to let go of that because I'm here now, with you, and Aslan says that we're not leaving again."

He smiles with her again and this time he is the one who initiates the kiss- his lips warm against hers, she hooks her arms around his neck and his slip around her waist. After what feels like an eon, they pull apart and she rests her head on his chest, sighing in contentment. He rests his chin on the top of her head and they both fall silent.

"I'm happy, Caspian- I haven't been this happy in a long time. The last time we were here there was the War and the fact that we would have to leave but now- now, I'm happy," she tells him, her posture completely relaxed as she allows him to hold her close and run his fingers through her hair.

"I know- I am too," he replies and she can practically hear him smiling.

"I love you, so much," she says and as he replies to this, the sun rises over the rooftops, and for a few minutes the garden is illuminated like a paradise.

**I'm sorry for the extra cheesiness of this chapter but I really didn't see the story going anywhere else- and also, these two deserve it. Maybe someday I'll rewrite it or do a sequel or something but for now this is it. I'm really sorry for the awfulness quotient folks. **


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